Saturday, March 26, 2011

Musings From Cabo

I am very fortunate to have two amazing women in my life: my daughter, Julie Ann and my daughter-in-law, Kelly. Two weeks ago Julie Ann came here to Cabo San Lucas, along with Ryan and Keira (Mike could not come because of his work schedule), to spend a week with me. We had a wonderful time in spite of Keira being sick the whole week and Julie Ann sick toward the end of the week. I am so proud of Julie Ann: she is a wonderful mother, works full-time teaching nursing at a local college; and she is pursuing a PhD in nursing education. Plus…she is a wonderful listening ear for me and has such good insights as we walk this shared journey of grief. Last Saturday I said goodbye to her and welcomed Joel and Kelly, along with Anders, Sofie, Margot and Mallory. In conversation last week with Kelly I was touched once again by how close she was to Jan and how deeply she feels the loss of their relationship. Kelly caught the vision of The Starfish Foundation, which was so close to Jan’s heart; and her life reflects arena’s of service to the poor and needy that is inspirational. I was fortunate to have a particularly beautiful conversation with Kelly this week that really touched my heart. These two women mean everything to me and I am so thankful to God that they are part of my life.

I am also fortunate to have two outstanding men in my life. Joel is doing wonderful things with his life and has taken over the business that Jan started and expanded and grown it over these last months. He has been like a rock for me as he handles the financial paperwork and other business details of my life with such expertise. This week my realtor sent information about a townhouse in a neighborhood that I really like. We did the “virtual tour” on the internet and I immediately sensed this was what I was looking to buy. We immediately made a verbal offer so that we had right of first refusal if another offer came in before we got to see the house…and sure enough another offer was made…so sitting around the pool Joel handled all the details and paperwork and we make a firm offer that was accepted. Thanks son! I had looked forward to going fishing with Mike down here this year, but his work schedule did not allow him to make the trip. He has just earned an impressive opportunity with Sun Country Airlines for which he needed to do training and that was a priority. Mike is making his mark professionally and in addition he is a wonderful husband and father. I always look forward to being with him and appreciate so much his cool head and careful decision making; and his willingness to step in and help with anything I need. I could not wish for two better men in my life.

I am also blessed with six of the most wonderful grandchildren who live very close to me. I love watching them grow and seeing their personalities mature; and each of them is special in how they express their love to me. This last week was special as Anders bunked with me in my timeshare. I love these kids more than I can say and they in turn love me back in ways that mean everything to me. But today at 3:00 p.m. I said goodbye to Joel and Kelly and family and walked back to my timeshare. This is my last week in Cabo and our usual pattern is that our last week is just for ourselves; a time for Jan and I to do our thing…to eat at our favorite restaurants…to sit around the pool and read and relax…this would be our time. Only now it becomes “my” time and that doesn’t feel very special.

So I come back to my unit to take a shower and get cleaned up for dinner. But somehow I just didn’t really feel like going out for dinner. My family is no longer here and I don’t have Jan with whom to share the evening; so what I do is head over to Costco of all places and have a piece of Hawaiian Pizza and a Diet Coke (not one of Jan’s favorite places). I did a little grocery shopping and then came back to my unit for the evening. I’ll watch some basketball and then check the brackets (Anders, Joel and I do this every year and Anders has won every year so far) and see if I have moved out of last place. I will then lay out the work I want to get done this week and do some reading before going to sleep. Tonight the “incomplete” nature of my life is very evident as I sit in this place Jan loved so much and I try look forward in a positive way to a week that we always thoroughly enjoyed together. I am hoping to do more than get through this week…I truly want to find ways to enjoy it as well.

I wrote this on Saturday, March 19..today is March 26 and I make this addendum:

Monday morning I knew that a week alone was not going to work...so we changed my airline ticket and I came home on Wednesday. Thursday I walked through the townhouse I purchased and am thoroughly pleased with it. These last two days I spent quality with my family and last night I was with TDDUP(Till Death Do Us Part), my small group from church. We had a wonderful time together and once again I was reminded of just how important these friends are in my life. They are prayer warriors and great friends...they are so accepting and their love is so genuine. I feel so much better about life when I am with them and with my family. I am so grateful Lord that you have given these people to me with whom to share life.