I thought it would be easy to focus on what we had together and not fret about what will never be.
But I am finding that is easier said than done and
I've had a difficult week because I have in fact been fretting:
- I decorated the house for Christmas, but it doesn't look the same. I'm not able to give it the same touch that Jan would have done.
- I chose not to put up the big tree this year and now the house only looks "half decorated", which bothers me a bit, but also seems fitting as only "half" is here this year.
- The bright spot is that the grandkids decorated the tree in the lower level and that gives me a lot of joy.
- I had to go to the cemetery this week for some final paper work and that was a real bummer.
- I went to the Festival of Christmas smorgasbord on Saturday and had to leave and go home before the concert started.
- I did not really know what to say when people asked "How are you doing?" Should I be honest and say "not very good" or should I put up a good front and say "I am doing okay"?
- Bottom line is I was there without my spouse at what was one of our favorite Christmas activities and I was not doing very good.
So now it's Monday morning and I'm asking you for help to get my focus off myself and focus on the good things I will be doing this week. I know Lord that you are acquainted with grief and the need for sorrow. I know that you are the God who walks with me and lives with me in the present moment. I know that you are my Immanuel, the God who is with me. I am trusting you to be with me this week.
I look forward to living this week with YOU by my side...Amen.