Monday, December 6, 2010


It's Monday morning Lord and I'm thinking about myself...yes that's right...myself.

I thought it would be easy to focus on what we had together and not fret about what will never be.

But I am finding that is easier said than done and

I've had a difficult week because I have in fact been fretting:

  • I decorated the house for Christmas, but it doesn't look the same. I'm not able to give it the same touch that Jan would have done.

  • I chose not to put up the big tree this year and now the house only looks "half decorated", which bothers me a bit, but also seems fitting as only "half" is here this year.

  • The bright spot is that the grandkids decorated the tree in the lower level and that gives me a lot of joy.

  • I had to go to the cemetery this week for some final paper work and that was a real bummer.

  • I went to the Festival of Christmas smorgasbord on Saturday and had to leave and go home before the concert started.

  • I did not really know what to say when people asked "How are you doing?" Should I be honest and say "not very good" or should I put up a good front and say "I am doing okay"?

  • Bottom line is I was there without my spouse at what was one of our favorite Christmas activities and I was not doing very good.

So now it's Monday morning and I'm asking you for help to get my focus off myself and focus on the good things I will be doing this week. I know Lord that you are acquainted with grief and the need for sorrow. I know that you are the God who walks with me and lives with me in the present moment. I know that you are my Immanuel, the God who is with me. I am trusting you to be with me this week.

I look forward to living this week with YOU by my side...Amen.


  1. My heart aches for you and your family. I just read Joel's blog and want to thank both of you for being so open and honest. We can be so grateful with our mind but getting our heart to cooperate is another thing - guess it just takes time and God is in charge of that. Thank you for turning my mind on things I need to be thankful for such as our marriage of 58 years.
    Doris K.

  2. My deepest sympathies are with you as you walk this unexpected journey at this time. I have such wonderful memories of you and Jan as you pastored Indian Lake during my high school years. May the peace of God that passes all understanding keep your heart and mind today.
    Carol Nordell Gustafson
    Walker MN