Monday, November 14, 2011


It's really very easy.
That is, turning a page, is really very easy.
It's basically a reflex action. Something you do without thinking. Something you do with anticipation as you want to continue reading and follow the story line to the end.

It's really very difficult.
That is, turning a page, is really very difficult.
I never realized how difficult it would be to turn a page when the page is your own life. When you are reflecting on 47 years of marriage through the perspective of one year of singleness; it can be agonizingly painful to turn the page because you know it is time to move on to the next chapter of your life.

Taking a ring off is very easy.
When the ring is a wedding band...very difficult.

Taking china out of a cabinet is very easy.
When you are deciding what to keep and what to give away...not so easy.

Packing a box is not very difficult.
When that box contains items from the past not going into the present...difficult.

We speak of my stage of life in differing ways.
Moving on.
Adjusting to the new normal.
Creating your own space.

I'm trying very hard to keep my townhouse from becoming a "man cave".
Carefully what I take with me.
Items that will reflect the best of these last 47 years.
Items that reflect who we are as a family.

Julie Ann and Kelly will be coming by some time today or tomorrow.
There is lots of stuff for them to sort through.
Items for themselves and hopefully for my grand-daughters
Nice stuff...Jan had good taste...good stuff to keep around.

Memories are often triggered by the stuff we accumulate. But the best memories of what we were doing when we used that stuff.
Family gatherings when we enjoyed a meal using this stuff.
Smorgasbords when this stuff was filled with our favorite foods.
It's not so much the's what happened with the stuff.

So I find myself emotionally drained today. Dealing with this stuff has not been easy. Sometimes turning the page at this stage of life feels likes the page weighs 50 need both hands and a lot of effort to make it happen. But happen it must and so it is getting done.

That is why I say "AS THE PAGE TURNS".
It is in process of being turned.
I am maybe halfway there with the move from my house to the townhouse.
More of a challenge than I had anticipated.

But here is the good thing.
As I sort through the stuff I find myself saying: THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES!!

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